If you want to get a
man to commit, you need to follow a few rules so that you actually get
results. Getting a man to commit is one of the all time big questions
that every woman at some point in her life has wrestled with.
It is one of the
most common asked questions that I have women ask me when I coach them
and the golden rule is: ‘Think pleasure and pain!’ Let me explain what I
mean by this. Suppose you’ve been dating a guy for 4 weeks or so and he
tells you he doesn’t want to be exclusive.
Perhaps he just
tells you he’s not ready to commit. Let’s go through the specific rules
of how to make him want to be in a relationship with you.
A response women
often make is to give an ultimatum, in other words they’ll say to the
guy that if he does not commit to her exclusively from now on, she is
sorry but their relationship is over. Now this looks like a decent
approach, right? – WRONG If you give a man an ultimatum, he will run a
mile every time.
By bearing down on
him to make an ‘all or nothing’ decision, you will only make him
associate pain and stress with commitment.He will see it as having to
resign himself to a relationship, and he’ll romanticize the freedom that
he would get being single.
A guy has to earn
is place in your life. What a lot of women make the mistake of doing is
giving themselves completely to a guy before he has expressed any
intention of committing. Not only does this apply sexually, but also to
how much time they give him.
They let him call
her up and come over whenever he’s around, they break plans for him,
come and look after him when he’s ill, the list goes on…
If you give a guy
all these things before you’re even dating he’ll think: “Why do I need
to commit when I can get all this attention and still be single?”
Another mistake women make when men won’t commit is trying to be colder
towards him.
This is also the
wrong response. Although it’s right that you might want to back off a
bit (or even date other men!), you want to make sure that whatever time
you do spend together is the most fun he could possibly have!
That way when you leave he’ll think: “I want to spend more time with this girl, we have such an amazing time together!”
You always need the
guy to realize that every time he commits to you a little bit more,
things get more fun, more exciting, more romantic, and more sexy. If you
give him everything all at once right away, there’s nothing left for
him to achieve by being in a relationship with you. What you ideally
want is for him to feel like the single life can never be as much fun
than experiencing new things with you can be.
A guy needs to feel like he’s missing out by not committing to you.
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